Don't be a Bad Mom : Burnout in American Mothers of Young Children

Abstract: Burnout occurs as the consequence of an overburdened stress response system which has become exhausted as the result of attempting to eliminate chronic stressors (Maslach & Jackson, 1981; Selye, 1946). In so much as parenting can be chronically stressful, researchers have begun to apply the construct of burnout to the context of parenting (Mikolajczak, Gross & Roskam, 2019; Aunola, Sorkkila & Tolvanen, 2020; Griffith, 2020; Hubert & Aujoulat, 2018; Kawamoto, Furutani & Alimardani, 2018; Mikolajczak et al., 2018a; b). American mothers consistently report feeling unable to live up to cultural ideals of the “good mother” and feeling as though they are failing (Sutherland, 2010; Collins 2021, Folbre 2008). The current COVID-19 pandemic has sparked a heightened concern for the stress load and mental health of parents with many of them having additional responsibilities and fewer resources (Griffith, 2020). Focusing specifically on U.S. mothers with multiple young children in a stable relationship, this study asks: what are the lived experiences of mothers who are burned out? Using the Shirom-Melamed Burnout Questionnaire as a measure of exhaustion (Lundgren-Nilssons et al., 2012) and utilizing a qualitative design, this study uses theoretical essentialist thematic analysis to investigate the themes which emerged from six open ended interviews. Key findings suggest that various social/ cultural ideologies along with various dimensions of perfectionism contributed to the mothers’ experience of burnout. Consequences of the mothers’ burnout included resentment toward others and herself and going into “survival mode,” wherein mothers’ made choices which did not align with her values. Another central finding was how the mother’s described feeling ashamed as a contributor and a consequence of their burnout experience. Protective factors are also discussed. The findings of this study can serve to inform public policy reform aimed at supporting mothers and children in the United States where the rates of burnout in parents have increased due to the COVID 19 pandemic (Griffith, 2020).