TO BE, BECOME AND BEHAVEOr : or my relationship with theory, creative process or taking refuge

Abstract: These pages include parts of the process diary, notes on process, reading, as well as photos from my research process.  These are abstracts of my research and therefore curated in their own right to show not only my somewhat sprawling process but also my honest attempt to share how I document and research in my process. These “written expositions” mirrors how I gather material when I work as a performer and performance maker. This document is as much about me finding out what I did in the project as you are attempting to understand the project´s content, methods and results. It is me looking at the produced material from the outside, curating it to try out words on the method, content and material. I have written about the work reflectively at the same time as I invite you into this action. It´s speculative and intimate.   During my master studies in Performing Arts, I have reflected on what it means to be a performer beyond the symbolic meaning of it- such, as being material or representation for someone else work. I have investigated what the performer spends time doing and reflecting on beyond what is seen “on stage”, and present that, whatever it is and looks like. I have then, in my final degree project, looked at how I can use my gained knowledge as a mainly interactive performer in relation to performance arts and black feminism theory to create my own artistic practice.   My aim has been to do this by being, meaning to exist with, breathing with, becoming part of, attending to and situating myself in relation to performance arts and black feminism theory in a mindful manner.