Making Love, Not War

Abstract: The aim of this research is to describe and analyse the existence of consensual intimacy in the everyday life of young women from Syria and Palestine when living under insecure everyday conditions caused by conflict or war. Specific focus is given on what meanings are ascribed to intimacy and sex. The study responds to a research gap on consensual sex and intimacy as well as on the experiences of civilian women during war. The open-ended, explorative interviews conducted with three young women from Syria and Palestine show that the meaning of intimacy is to create a space to be alive and do something special for oneself and others. More meanings ascribed to intimacy are the possibility for a pause or an escape from reality; fulfilling the need for love under insecure societal conditions; and being in charge of one’s own body and decisions about giving and receiving love. The meaning of intimacy can be to create a differentiation between what aspect of life belongs where and thereafter be in control of a space through one’s actions and emotional empowerment. At other moments intimacy is found irrelevant and to have no meaning at all. The thesis conducts a grounded theory study on an under-researched topic and presents suggestions for analytical categories that can be used for further theorising on the topic. Therefore, the aim of the thesis is not to create theory within its own framework but to lay ground for approaching the topic with ambitious theoretical pursuit in the future. Based on this study, the researcher is suggesting a theorisation of consensual sex and intimacy during war to be necessary. The study shows how intimacy and sex during wartime should not only be looked at through sexualised violence and that women’s bodies and sexuality are not exclusively passive victims during war and conflicts.