Theorizing & (re)discovering the Self : An autoethnographic & affect-theoretical approach to swedishness & colombianness

Abstract: This thesis is structured as a feminist creative endeavour, a practice of self-love that aims at exploring (my) depression as a cultural and social phenomenon caused mainly by an inability to correctly embody swedishness, a constant haunting of a colonial and Colombian past, and the affective dimensions of language. This text is based on autoethnographic material about the experiences of being a Colombian-born migrant in Sweden and uses mainly affect theory and decolonial theory to make sense of these experiences. The thesis showcases my temporal relation to both swedishness and colombianness and how that dimension influences the (re)production of my self, and the consequent “negative feelings” linked to depression I experience. Furthermore, as a creative endeavour following the tradition of WOC feminist writers, this thesis highlights how writing and theorizing can lead to healing.